Tango

I feel like I've been dancing the tango.
He moves forward and I move back.
Then I move forward then he moves back.

He's sweet one day and passive the next.
While I continue to dance around him.
Sometimes he pays close attention and sometimes he doesn't.

I try to keep still.
I try to enjoy the space between.
I try to restrain myself.

I'm not one who follows the rules.
And I'm tired of the drama.
Should I stop dancing?

Scared.

How do you stop yourself from seeing the present through the eyes of the past?
How do you stop feeling anxious?
Can you ever go back to how you were?
Can you ever stop looking back?
When can you stop asking when?
When will you stop worrying about the future?
Will you ever stop imagining events?
Will you ever stop the conversations in your head?

Do I like him or just the idea of it?
Do I know him or just have an idea of him?
I sense his being but he keeps himself closed.
I want to look into his eyes but I can't see them.
Do I just see what I want to see?
Am I refusing his reality?